Well, I still can't sleep, but I feel pretty good. It's like these little steps are adding up but I miss my daughter. She has really helped me think about my life. I enjoy spending time with her more than ever. To get back on track, I think the next thing that has to go is smoking. Not until I can sleep again though. So with that in the back of my head, these were the two most important things I've thought about today: First, on day thirty, and I'm sure people who know me are betting I won't get past day ten, I'm setting my first goal. At age 40, it's not so crazy, I'm going to ask my daughter to go over the first thirty days with me and edit it down to Chapter One of "The Book of James" so everyone can actually see how smart us druggies can be actually. Some of us are pretty smart when we put our minds to it. Secondly, I'm going to work on that empty feeling that continuously causes me to fail. Not this time! I know that I need to start doing something that gives me a sense of gratification. I really like all the "First Things First" commercials, so I'm going to start there. I'm gonna try to get in touch with them and see what they're all about. Maybe volunteer or see if I can get a part time job there. I really don't care what it pays; I just want to feel good about something. Well to all my critics: I've made it another day. To all my followers: I have made this far is because of you. You enable me to grow stronger every day. I hope that through all of the poor decisions I have made throughout my life that we may all benefit.
P.S. Don't do drugs.
P.S.S. If you don't hear from me tomorrow, I'm an idiot.
Well I'm back, but it's still today. I just wanted to let everyone know, who has commented, how much I appreciate it.
Talk to you tomorrow!
James, yesterday was the 1st time you said "talk to you tomorrow!" Maybe a little part of you now knows you CAN do this.
ReplyDeleteYou made it through the first week! That is huge! I'm really proud of you. I've seen people regress in much shorter times. You can do this. Your critics should always be in the back of your head pushing you to prove them wrong. Just know for everyone who says you can't do it there are 5 saying you can!
ReplyDeleteJames, I know this hasn't been easy for you, and I dare say, it'll probably get harder before it gets easier, and if you think it's getting easier, watch out! That's when the enemy will try to take advantage of you. What you're trying to do is impossible without the grace and strength that only God can give you. Take heed to the warning, "let him that thinketh he standeth take heed lest he fall" (1 Corinthians 10:12). Still praying and believing for you! Also, don't forget to memorize 1 Corinthians 10:13! It is written, "There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it."
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