Day 5

Well, I made it back. I feel a little sick to my stomach. For the first time in five days, I'm sitting here with a cup of tea instead of a beer. If you remember, I gave myself seven days before my next big decision. It seems like the closer that day came; the drunker I was getting. I woke up at 5:00 AM this morning and had 2 beers left in the fridge. I felt like I drank enough to make up for the next two days, so I took them out of the fridge. I poured the first one in the sink but had to drink the second one. When I was done I told myself that today was the day. If I had to do it all over, alcohol would've gone first. I think I can honestly say that being drunk has played a very big part in almost all the foolish and irresponsible decisions I have made. That goes against everything I'm trying to accomplish. Can it really be that simple? Maybe all of this time that I've been struggling with everything life threw at me that I've been to drunk or high to see a very simple solution: stop getting high long enough to see and think straight. I want to start enjoying life instead of hiding from it. I kinda have a direction I would like to go in. For right now I need to let the clouds clear so I can actually see where I'm going. I believe that, today, I have taken my biggest step. I hope that I will inspire you to find that person you know who probably is not much different than I am. Make them read this. If I can do it, believe me anyone can. Not being drunk actually feels pretty damn good! Well, if you don't hear from me tomorrow then I'm an idiot.