Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Day 6
Well, I didn't sleep very well last night at all. I thought quitting drugs and beer would be the hard part but it's not. I thought I would have better focus being drug free and sober but I feel more lost than ever. Today I realized I've been here before and every time it was easier to take the shame and embarrassment for failing once again than to feel this emptiness that I feel right now. So today I've realized I've got a lot of figuring out to do. I took my son to work today because I needed someone to shovel dirt while I tilled. But after watching my son for about 5 minutes I decided to take up a little space in that emptiness. So I taught my son how to till while I shoveled and voila! I watched my son grow a little and felt some of the weight coming off my shoulders. I guess it's a baby step but to me it sure feels like a leap in the right direction. Well were having spaghetti and I'm starved. Tell a friend! If you don't hear from me tomorrow I'm an idiot.
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When I read your post today, I got to the end and found myself saying, "Dear God, don't let Barry James Hudnall be an idiot." lol....It's okay, Jesus understands my prayers even when I don't word them exactly as I mean to. You are doing great! Keep it up. I look forward to your posts.
ReplyDeleteI heard about your road to recovery and had to check out your blog. You're doing great. Hang in there. Praying for you. I hope to hear more from you today.
ReplyDeleteJames - I don't know you, but I found myself checking several times yesterday to see if you added to your blog or not ..... now it's 1 p.m. PST and I am happy to see your entry from last night!!!!! Keep up the good work! You can do this!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteBaby steps are good! Keep on keeping on, even if you don't see progress right away. It's what you don't see that's most significant when it finally does come into view! Keep your hand on the plow, and your eye straight ahead! Still praying for you!
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