Day 10

This morning was very emotionally draining. I could have easily dived off the wagon and I have for much less, but something is different about me now. I'm starting to feel good about whom I am becoming; this is an addiction I can live with. It's a feeling I've never had before and I like it, I definitely don't want to lose it. I wish I could share it with everyone who feels like I felt ten days ago. Now let's get right to the topic of the day, and that is to be who you are, I believe everybody's mind wanders a bit, mine I think more than most, or maybe not. I don't know but I do know that I've kept thoughts emotions and feelings hidden out of fear of what people may think of me. I realized this last night when my daughter helped me get set up on facebook. I found so many people I haven't seen in many years and some that I've lost touch with in the last couple of years. We sat there and did friend requests on about twenty people and attached my blog. When we were done, I found myself feeling very uneasy, I found myself so worried about their opinions I was worried about what I would say today and I realized this is a problem that has to be dealt with before I could continue on this mission of happiness. So here's my conclusion, I can be remembered as a crack head that never amounted to anything, or I can be remembered as a person who has compassion for humanity, a person that wants to make a better life for himself and maybe teach a few others to do the same along the way. I think I like the second one best, and I hope I teach a whole shitload of others along the way, that is the first time I cursed in this blog but I kinda feel like it was appropriate, I hope some of you get as much out of this as I did. If you don't hear from me tomorrow, well you know

James