Day 3

Today,Day 3 of my journey, was a very educational day and not quite as easy as I thought it would be. My only option was to flip it into a learning experience instead of falling off the wagon. I thought I would be the one to inspire but now I realize without the inspiration from others I lose the confidence to believe in my goals. At this point in my life, I feel that without the presence of my daughter, the love from her, the belief that she has in me, and the support she is giving me, that the doubt that I have will grow like a festering infection in my mind. This could all end as fast as it began. She had to go out of town for a couple of days and now my mind is saying to me "Oh no! Please stay strong! Please just survive!" and that is not a good feeling or place for me to be at all. The whole idea and goal of this is to create a life that brings a sense of accomplishment and gratification. I guess I have to accept the fact that there will be many days in the future that it will be up to me to draw the line in the sand. There will be no ifs, ands, or buts-in essence-no excuses. i could easily give up and revert back to my old ways very easily to be honest with you. That would mean I lose everything. I am not strong enough to do this by myself right now. I need my daughter here. I need her love, devotion, and support to give me the inspiration to not only survive but to succeed. I cannot explain the gratitude that I feel for the love and compassion that my daughter offers to others. Today was a lot to take in....a lot to handle....but I learned a lot. I would like to thank my daughter, Hilly, for this new chance on life. If you don't hear from me tomorrow then i failed and I am an idiot.