Day 30 it seems the days are flying by, I can't believe it's day thirty, but it is. I woke up this morning feeling very alone and a little angry, my cousin Dan told me that other people's opinions are important but altamently you are alone to make your decisions. I believe this to be true and good advice that I will use in my life. As I sat last night and wrote the last part of my blog I felt like I was writing out of anger and when I was finished I had to have Hilary reread it for me because I felt like I was attacking my family, that is not the case by any means, I am not a lash out kind of person, never have been and never will be, I was so worried my family would take offence I started doubting myself and wondered if I should leave it in. this morning I realized as I write this blog there may be hurt feelings and I am sorry for that but as I look past the hurt I may or may not cause I see hope for millions, my mind does not work on a small scale and I believe that as I learn about life I can teach others to make changes in theirs, big or small ,either way their lives will improve as mine does every day. this is the path I was chosen to walk down and I will not allow mine or other people's feelings to sway me from what I believe to be true. Once again my apologies if you are offended.
It seems like the world sets rules for us to follow, tells us what is right from wrong and how we should handle situations, I think there's a lot of people that walk through life unknowingly following these rules instead of following their heart, not questioning right from wrong, afraid of breaking these rules exposing themselves as different from the herd. Well I am different and I definitely don't believe most of what the world taught me and I am no longer afraid to voice what I believe to be right. I have had ideas in my mind for a very long time but I was always afraid of misleading people, I think it is a big responsibility to give advice to others because altamently you could be responsible for their bad decisions. But as each day goes by work harder to be a better person and my confidence grows and I know in my heart what I am, a caring person that wants to bring the happiness that I feel in my heart to anyone that will have it, I want to touch the lives of everyone in one way or another, how could that be misleading? I truly believe that i can save the world one person at a time and I will never quit writing until this is accomplished
As for this morning feeling lonely and a little angry, one of my readers has been talking to me about good and bad days and has done her part in keeping me on the right track by preparing me for those bad days, thank you, you know who you are.
I don't think that anyone could have gotten through to you until you were ready to hear it...and this blog shows how powerful the written word can be. I think that people stay out of it when loved ones are addicted because ultimately they have to protect themselves. I feel as though your own words are keeping you accountable now, but I don't know if someone writing you a letter telling you to do it would have had the same sway while you were under the influence. Just saying. Congratulations on the driving privleges, that is something to look forward to with pride.
ReplyDeleteDay 30! That is something to be proud of. Hearing your journey and how you are growing will help the ones to follow behind you. Passing on your light and spirit for life is inspirational. Congrats On 30 beautiful days.
ReplyDeleteLisa
It is amazing Jimmy. We come through society with those hidden rules you spoke of. Seems one most common is not doing what you know is right in your heart. Somehow when everyone wants to do wrong to do right has had a law set against it. Amazing how in society and youth all the things that kill you drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, ect,ect,,,,. Behaviors of throwing rocks at cars and degrading other people by their weight or looks or the clothes they wear have become the cool things to do. When inside most know it not right. For anyone to say there is no battle between good and evil. For anyone to say there is no God yet we have every odd against us. For anyone to say their is no devil yet evil is present. I myself find it hard not to need to believe their is a God that wants us to do right and come to him. It is free will and so many will not take the chance, yet they rather let cancers, murders, illnesses take control and say there is no God when they never even believed.
ReplyDeleteI am sorry to go on this tangent in your public forum It just seems that there is a way that is right and it does live in most of our hearts will we stand up for what is right is the question.
To those whom believe God Bless you and for those whom don't please if I will not offend your beliefs in my writings I would still pray Blessings to you too.
God Bless You Jimmy!
Hey Jim..........Hard to believe.......30 days, well you are on your way to a better and more productive life......you'll live to see your great grandchildren.........who knows, go to the moon.... any way Hugs and Kisses from Aunt P.
ReplyDeleteSome days will be better than others. Stay strong brother. Lots of love your way. ~DG
ReplyDeleteAnger is a valid emotion, but then, so is empathy. The Bible says to be angry and sin not, and I think the only way to do that is to try to walk in the other man's moccasins before you try to defend your own rights which may or may not be valid. Sometimes anger is just an indication of something you need to face in yourself before you can make further progress. Still praying.
ReplyDeleteJack