day 52

Day 52, well it is almost six in the afternoon, I didn't have time to write this morning, I slept very well right up to six thirty and had to meet the roofing company at the job at seven. So I didn't have time to write this morning, I enjoy writing in the morning so much more, it seems I can think much more clearly. Maybe its because I'm not so tired from working all day, but I think it has a lot to do with the pressure of only having a few hours to write. I feel like I'm forcing the words into the computer, either way I think I'm going to start going to bed earlier so I wake up earlier, that solves my dilemma.

I have only been here three and a half days and I feel like ive been here for months, I like it and it seems like I was the missing piece of the puzzle, everything is flowing so smoothly, just like it was meant to be. This is a very critical time for me, but I realize it, it seems when people like me get clean and things start going really good, we do really bad, really quick. I will not allow this to happen to me ever again, the better I do the more I'm going to pay attention. I will not allow my mind to take me back to my old life, you see the better I do the more my mind seems to tell me I'm okay now, one drink won't hurt, but I know from experience one drink leads to a hundred dollar rock and a twelve pack, and when that's all gone ill get however much money is left in my pocket to allow me to get. Nope, not me , not again, in just fifty one days I have just about accomplished what takes people years to do, and the reason for this is how ive lived the last fifty one days, not how I used to live, that's gotten me absolutely know here. I see this and I intend to keep it close in my mind as not to fall again, my life is good.

Now I would like to talk about some of the best news ive gotten in awhile, when I started this the idea was for it to catch on, I think this could spread across America, addicts and drunks saving each other, the old ways don't seem to be keeping up, this world needs more success stories to inspire this world into happiness, I want to see hundreds of blogs so people have different stories to chose from, to relate to, to learn from. Wanting this has definitely been a big part of why I can walk past the bar instead of going in, every day I stay clean there's a chance someone else will gain a little more hope in themselves and be able to do the same, when I started this blog I wanted to do some type of volunteer work to fill that emptiness in my heart but this blog has done that ten times over. Anyway I will get to the point, Cynthia called me this evening and informed me that she has created her own blog, she is still learning how to do it but I think it will be up in a couple of days, I am so so so excited for her as I know the difference this blog made in my life, it seem to take the struggle of quitting away for me, yes, it made quitting easy for me, like taking medicine for an illness, my life changed. I believe it will do the same for her, just knowing she is on the road to happiness overwhelms me with all kinds of feel good emotions, wow, I can't even explain it, my life is great, James