Day 77 what's been on my mind today, I will tell you, personal strength, its hard to explain, I cant figure out why I cant just stop smoking, I know its killing me and costing me to much money, plus it stinks. you would think someone who has overcome all the things I have would be able to just put this behind me and walk away, but I must remind myself where my strength came from, and I must remind all of you too, when I quit drugs and drinking it wasn't my strength, it was the strength of all of you who believed in me, it was the way that all of you cared about me, it was you who inspired me, and I didn't want to let any of you down, that is how I made it through the first few weeks, and as my mind cleared and the love of all of you caring about my life kept pouring in it made me want to step it up a notch. So here I am now, because of the love of others, many whom ive never met, I am a new man, a positive role model to society, and ive never known happiness like this could exist, the desire for drugs and alcohol have not only left my mind, I cannot imagine how I was ever stupid enough to live the way I did, so now to the smoking, I have a new person in my life who is giving me the personal strength I need to quit, once again I find myself very weak if I tackle this alone, over the past couple of weeks this woman has shared enough love with me to allow me to quit five times over, and she has told me I must quit for myself, well that hasn't worked for me in the past and I don't think it will work for me now, it seems to make me feel good to do for others and I know she worries about me so as my act of love, I will not put it off any more, I will return the love she has given me by being strong for her, by easing her mind and taking better care of myself, I have one cigarette left and it will be my last, I am bound and determined to get that kiss,, it seems my personal strength is not mine at all, it comes from all those who care about me and without them I would surely crumble, James
Hey Jimmy Nicotine is even more addictive than Heroin and with the additives the tobacco companies put in it it's no joke.. It was a battle until I got sick and tired of being beatin by a foreign object that seemed to pollute my body and get the best of me every time.
ReplyDeleteA tip, since they are so easily accessed being a legal stimulant unlike drugs where you quit going where you used to go and quit doing the things that took you there and evolving with the people which they evolved there will be other things related to the dependency of the stimulant.
I found that I had to cut off anything that related itself with nicotine. Booze were already gone so in my case it was coffee, after a meal well you know all the things that trigger it.. Try something else for a morning drink like OJ drink water after meals instead of lighting up. Pop a peace of gum when you get a urge. And most off I found that the harder you try and fight it the harder it is. Learn to take a deep breathe and go ahhh and brush it off everytime you want one.. After the 3rd day it gets easier every day is a step further away from the bondage of unhealthy activities that we have picked up over the years. Keep taking those steps away. Shooot I even told myself I wasn't a smoker and would tell myself that's a lie I don't need that and go about my way every time I had a craving. Try and alter everything that connects you to nicotene and seperate yourself as far as you can. It gets easier and I know you can do it.
Sorry I haven't wrote much been strung out on finances and single parent deals. It all keeps me pretty busy. Love Ya Bro. God Bless You!
Think of the look of love in your new girls eyes when you give her that first kiss...that should be incentive enough. I know it's tough to quit and I totally agree with Craig, the cigarette companies do put other addatives into the cigarettes that, research has shown and the companies have admitted to, are more addictive that heroin or crack! Think of those large, rich companies getting rich off of your addiction...kinda pisses me off personally! Back to the kiss...she cares about you deeply, I just can tell and if you can't do it for yourself, do it for her! Love you lots and lots, karin
ReplyDeleteI've never smoked in my life, but I've heard that smoking is the hardest thing to quit.... it's more addictive than anything else. But if you truly make that your last cigarette, it's going to get easier each day...... and especially with that first kiss and the love of a wonderful woman who really cares about you. I'm so happy that you found each other. Once you eventually lose your craving for cigarettes, you're going to find other people's cigarette smoke very irritating. I tried for years to get my husband to quit, but it took a doctor telling him that he had emphysema before he finally decided to quit.....as soon as all his cigarettes were used up, as he couldn't bring himself to throw away the leftover cigarettes. Then he eventually ended up with an abdominal aneurism (which they operated on) and now he has congestive heart failure. Jim, I realize that you're way younger than my husband by a long shot, but just remember the permanent damage that can eventually happen to a person's health as a result of all those years of smoking. So as you quit now, and focus on eating healthy meals, it will give you a lot more years of a healthy life. It's really sad and worriesome to see someone you love be confronted with so many health issues. My husband, Jim, gets out of breath so easily, and he has to take Plavix and Advair every day now. All those years of smoking caught up with him.
ReplyDeleteSo I'm very happy for you that you are quitting after that one last cigarette. It sounds like you might be getting that first kiss sooner than Friday! Take care, Jim!
On note of Nancy's post. It is the loved ones around you that suffer the most due to the brutal circumstances of smoking's destruction's. It is the one's at the side of the hospital bed next to you supporting you who's tears and cries go on far after destruction has had it's course and you are gone.
ReplyDeleteFar far from the joy of one whom has lived a healthy life and in passing left many smiles.
This instead leaves all the loved one's that suffer from the bondage of it's cruelty afflicted with a lack of hope and the despair in enduring their loss.
It is everyone else that really suffers!
You can do it, Jim! After the first three days the physical addiction will be almost gone! Of course, if you're using patches, you'll mostly be dealing with the psychological issues, but Craig has it right when he says that it will help greatly to change all your habits that are directly connected with smoking. Caffeine is also an addictive drug that's not good for you. The watchword of overcoming a bad habit is by replacing it with a good one. Water is the best drink there is for you. Our bodies are made up of 60-65% water (as men, 50-60% as women), so we need to constantly be replenishing that supply in order to be cleansed from the inside out and to function at the peak of our performance ability. Try replacing cigarette smoking and coffee with a bottle of drinking water. The carbonation in sodas leaches calcium from your bones, so water really is best, though a little fresh juice with meals is not a bad plan.
ReplyDeleteMy wife stopped smoking just before we started seeing each other. She told me later it was because she didn't think she'd have a chance with me if she didn't. She was right about that, though I never knew she was still smoking when we first met until years later!
You can do this, Jim, I know you can!
Blessings,
Jack