Day72it seems like I cant get caught up, I got up at four thirty and spent time messaging instead of writing my blog, ive been behind every since. Its now eight o clock and im right where I don't want to be, feeling rushed to write my blog, I need to learn that it is up to me to prioritize, get on a schedule and stick to it. Ive never done this before so im having a little trouble getting started, it seems when you've been on drugs for so long you just live in the now, ive been doing that all my life so that's what im used to. I believe this has to change in order for me to move forward in my life. I never realized how many ways I was living wrong, I guess I still don't, there is still lots of changes to be made, but one important thing I would like to bring up is the fact that drugs and alcohol barely seem to be an issue anymore, as a matter of fact there not an issue at all, I believe as I focus on all the other issues in my life that need work I just don't have time to think about the old problems that's been resolved, and as my life improves I cant see why I ever used in the first place. These little problems ive been talking about lately may seem like average problems to most, but as a druggy, I lived in the moment, getting paid and spending every last dime till I didn't have enough gas in my car to get to work in the morning, that's happened over and over and over, I cant explain the extent I was on drugs and the things I would do to get more, a lot of people might read this and think I was just your average druggy but im here to tell you different, those drugs had such a hold on me I would pawn anything I could get my hands on, I looked terrible and didn't care. Ive spent many a days living under the overpasses, homeless because I got thrown out again, I cannot tell you how many bridges ive slept under and how many other homeless people ive talked to that were just like me, I could've died under there back in the day and no one would've known the difference, and the way that I lived and the things that I did, know body would've probably cared, and why should they, I was a crack head and a drunk that only took, never giving anything. There are stories just like mine living under bridges all over America, not lucky enough to make it out like me. My life has really come a lot farther than many of you think, and it is because of this blog, I guess I know where I need to start with the priorities, James
Wow, the stories you could tell. Someday I want to sit down and hear your stories. Jimmy, I am so glad you did mke it out alive. The people that I grew up with, that I hear through the grapevine that have died or something, all I can think of is "poor kid". It's all I can remember, is us as kids and it makes me sad that kids end up like we do sometimes, adults, but sometimes just lost, lonely kids in our hearts. Jimmy, I have seen a number of friends die, commit suicide, just disappear...I would be really, sad if I ever find out something happened to you. The world you be a dimmer place without you. I'm glad you made it out, because tons of people love you and so do I! Love you, Karin
ReplyDeleteI am always amazed when I read about the things you've done in the past and how very far you've come. Portland has a very high homeless population, and there are a lot of good organizations that are trying to help them. But in spite of that, there are still a lot of them living under bridges and underpasses. It's very sad, and although many churches and organizations try to give them safe shelter in the winter, some of them still die. I wish that every one of them could hear your story, as you are really one of the most amazing people I've ever heard of, the way you started this blog and completely gave up alcohol and drugs on your own. And it's been so wonderful to see you gaining confidence in yourself and learning to take care of yourself. Your head seems to be getting clearer & clearer. I still wish this whole "Book of James" could be published into a book, as I can see many good organizations buying this book and having the people they're trying to help read this book. It's a true story of hope & determination. God Bless! Nancy
ReplyDeletep.s. It's Saturday now, but I was just thinking what a wonderful movie this would make too. I wonder if somebody like Gus Van Sant got hold of your story if he wouldn't make it into a great movie. The movie "Blindside" touched my heart so strongly because it's a true story. And I'll bet a movie based on your life would touch and impact the hearts of millions of people, whether addicts or not. Your story is one of the most amazing stories I've ever heard. Gus Van Sant lives here in Portland, and I wish I knew how to reach him, as I believe he would definitely be interested in your life story. You really are an amazing guy!
ReplyDeleteYou know, Jim, I've always said, "we always have time for the things we really want to do." Seventy odd days ago, that was crack and booze for you, but now, obviously this blog is something you really want to do, or you wouldn't have done it every single day since you started. You've also found some other productive things to do, and you seem to really want to minister to others who are in the same boat you were in. So, now it's a matter of budgeting your time. Remember time is money, and you need to invest your capital wisely in order to get the best return on your investment.
ReplyDeleteA schedule is to time, as a budget is to money. Discipline is the key, if you want to do it all!
Blessings,
Jack