Day 66 Donny, I have learned something new on this computer just for you, well that's not true, I was having trouble reading it to, anyway I think I would like to remind all of you and myself about where all this started and really look at the difference from my life today and where it was sixty five days ago, I want people to see that there is hope for all, it seems like I have spent my life below average, looked down upon, how I got to that point is irrelevant, the important thing is to focus on how I was able to break away from that old life and begin a new one, there was only one way for me, and it took someone else getting evolved, my daughter, without someone in my life that cared about me I wouldn't of lasted one week, without her there I never would've gotten started. I was broken down and alone with any hope of life so far in the distance I could've never reached it alone. I don't believe the addicts in your life can reach it either without the help from somebody in there lives reaching out to let them know their lives matter. It seems ive never felt important or that I belonged anywhere for as long as I remember, when I was four my parents were divorced and lived two thousand miles apart, I remember going back and forth at the age of six or seven and feeling like they didn't love me and were just trying to pawn me off on the other, by the age of twelve or thirteen I was in foster homes so there never really was any type of family bonds formed. Ive got two sisters and two brothers, a mother and father still alive but don't have a relationship with any of them, my mother and I talk about once every six months or so and I stayed with a couple of my aunts and grandparents briefly growing up but for what ever reason it never worked out for very long, when you are a child its hard to understand why your family doesn't do everything they can to keep you around , I still don't understand. What I do understand is that my daughters love has not only put me on the right path, it has taught me a lot about patients and compation, it has also shown me what it takes to get where I am today. If you have somebody in your life that you love and care about, do not sit back and wait for them to fix themselves, they need hope, and that comes from the people that care about them, feed there souls with love, plant the seeds in there minds that you do care about there lives, and they will start to care about there lives. James
I praise God for your daughter, Jim! What an inspiration she is to me! And you are too.
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Jack
So sad to read about your childhood, Jim. I thought mine was bad because my parents divorced & remarried (my mom was married 6 times.) But I'm so sorry that you had such an unhappy childhood. You must have done something right to have such a loving daughter. You must love her very much. It's wonderful that your daughter helped you get started on the road to recovery. I read her comments on one of these blogs and I know that she said she's very proud of you and loves you very much. What a blessing!
ReplyDeleteSadly, with my son, I had just learned about Teen Challenge and was planning to visit them and find out more about it so that I could let him know there was hope and that they have a very high success rate; but unfortunately he took his life the night before I was going to go see them. If I had known the urgency I would have gone there the same day a Christian friend told me about Teen Challenge instead of getting the house ready for a visitor from California. Jimmy did know that I loved him very much and really cared about him. I just wish he could have done what you've done, as you've completely turned your life around. You are an inspiration and I think if more people hear about your story that it will affect a lot of lives. Somehow this story has got to reach a lot more people. God Bless! Nancy
Just wanted you to know that you are in our thoughts and prayers. Once again your honesty and what you have been thru in your life, just makes me realize that you are a truly blessed man, and one of your biggest blessings is your daughter. The last three lines of your comments on day 66 was amazing. You said what I have tried to think of saying to those around me for years or how to say it and you did it for me. I consider this a blessing from you and from God, Thank You James for all you do....KEEP US ALL GOING
ReplyDeleteDad I am not sorry for the way you were raised because it made you who you are today and I am so happy and so proud to say I AM PROUD OF MY DAD. If you hadn't went thru a horrible childhood, (or lack there of) then you wouldn't of raised us the way you did. You did the best you could at times and things werent always right but that is how it went. I learned very early from your mistakes, and mom's mistakes I am still learning from and now as a mother i understand how hard it is to raise a child and to help them see the bigger picture of all things. I would never change my past because without you and mom still learning; i would of never been taught so well and I thank you both very much for it! I love you and i am soooooo happy and sooooo proud of you! We miss you very much.
ReplyDeleteLove, Hilary and Day
Hilary is right. We can not change the past but we can learn to accept that it made us who we are. You would not be so smart and interesting if you had grown up in a happy suburban home. I am not trying to simplify anything and yes it sucks and it would have destroyed a lesser man. Love you. ~d
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