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Thursday, September 9, 2010

day 71

Day71i have been convinced, this smoking has got to go and it seems I just couldn't find the motivation. a lot of people have told me you have to do it for yourself, or when your ready you will quit, but I think that I, along with a whole bunch of other people have been ready to quit, its just seems I cant find the motivation, ive quit some pretty hard things, sticking needles in my arm, crack, and alcohol, all the negative behaviors that come with addiction, but smoking seems to be impossible to me, or so I thought, you see over the last few days I have been talking to a new friend, someone who is very much on the same page as me in terms of her life and where she is going in her future, but she is one step ahead of me, a step that I seem to do nothing but struggle with, smoking. She is egging me on to quit and seems genuinely worried about my health, she has got me thinking about not smoking anymore, seriously thinking about it. Last night she gave me the motivation to quit, as our night ended and I wanted a goodnight kiss, she informed me that wouldn't happen until my cigarette breathe goes away, then there would be plenty, needless to say when I woke up this morning I smoked the last of my ciggs and by eight thirty I was out. I thought I had good enough motivation to quit, a kiss from a beautiful woman is something I have not had in many years, but it was not. By one thirty I had to get a pack of ciggs, ive been smoking almost two packs a day since this blog started, and its not going to be that easy for me, so I have found some ways to help me get past this problem, and I need to be reminded so please help me, first I had to find a little bit more motivation, and that wasn't hard, you see when I think of my new friend and how she has opened up to me, and how she genuinely cares about how smoking will effect my health in the future, I know she cares and I believe I could've gotten that kiss if I really wanted to, but she was looking for a way to convince me to take better care of myself, so here is my new motivation, I want much more than a kiss, I want our friendship to grow and this person to believe in me, to know I do not give up easily on making the changes to allow me to live a happier and healthier life, I want her to take comfort that we are walking in the same direction. Now that I have the motivation, im going to cut back for one week, when I bought this pack of smokes I told myself only one an hour, that's cutting my smoking in half if not more, I will do this Friday and Saturday, Sunday its time to cut back even more, im looking forward to getting that kiss by next Friday.

4 comments:

  1. I'm so,so happy that you've met somebody right there, Jim! And I'm glad that she cares enough about your health to encourage you to quit smoking. A little Nicorette gum might help, but you seem to be strong enough to do things on your own, so maybe you will be done smoking by next Friday. I've heard that smoking is the most addictive thing of all and the hardest to quit. It was really hard for my husband to quit cold turkey, since he's smoked for such a big part of his life. But when you have emphysema, it's 'quit or die.' Now it's been three years and he says he doesn't miss cigarettes any more. It was hard for awhile, but he got over it. I kept buying him sugar free gum to chew on when he longed for a cigarette. Just think of how much nicer your breath will be and your clothing too. Cigarette smoke gets into everything. Poor Cindy got accused by a babysitter of smoking once when she was only 12 or 13. But it's because my husband's smoke got into everything......even Cindy's clothing. You've gotten this far, Jim, and I believe in you and know that you're going to conquer this addiction too. I can understand your new friend's concern, as I have known people who died from lung cancer at a fairly young age. There was a lovely young woman three houses down that just died a few months ago at 42 years old from a collapsed lung. It was so sad, because she had battled her alcohol addiction off and on, and had finally stayed sober for over a year. I know she smoked, but I honestly don't know if that had anything to do with her collapsed lung, as she went into the hospital with a lung infection and after two months in the hospital, passed away. But I'm wondering if the cigarette smoking she'd been doing for so long possibly contributed to her lung problem. I'm in the rooting section here cheering you on, Jim, as I know you can lick this one too! Good luck & God Bless! Nancy

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  2. You can do this, Jim! I know you can. You just have to get through the first week, then the physical addiction will be gone. We already know you can overcome the emotional and psychological addiction. Just one week, Jim! That's all it takes. Cutting down is good, but it's like cutting a dog's tail off one inch at a time. Just remember, one week, and as little as 72 hours without nicotine, and the physical addiction is gone. The hardest part for most people is the psychological addiction, but you have your blog to help you with that! You can do this!

    Blessings,
    Jack

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  3. Although I've never smoked in my life, I think Jack's right about that. My husband had certain times when he was used to "lighting up" for relaxation, and it was the psychological & emotional part that was the hardest. I kept buying large packages of gum, so he could chew that everytime he wanted to "light up." (Of course it wasn't the same, but at least it gave him something to put in his mouth, and instead of nasty smoke breath, he had nice breath from the gum.)

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  4. Jimmy, you are one of the strongest, if not the strongest person I know. To think of the things you have gone through and then where you are now...cigarettes haven't got a chance with a man like you! And to your new friend, encouraging good habits, way to go girl! Keep my friend strong becasue he's an amazing man that the world needs for many more years to come. You can do it Jimmy, I KNOW you can!!! Love you much! Karin

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