Day 70 its been a very good day, I feel better, I didn't work as hard as I would've liked to but I don't want this sickness to creep back up on me, my interview went very well, the editor of the Okmulgee paper came to my home to interview me, we talked for about a half hour or so, I feel very good about where my life is and where its going, I no longer feel the fear I once did from my past life, only pride of the presence. The choices that I make in this new life that I am creating for myself overshadow my past choices by far, and I will continue to walk down this path of honesty and openness in hopes of opening doors for others to do the same. I am sad to say the Okmulgee paper is not on line, the story will be out in the Sunday paper, with pictures, I promise I will figure out by then how to post them, on Mondays blog I will also post the Sunday story with pictures, so it may be a little long. I am really looking forward to reading it.
One thing I need to focus on is staying on schedule, actually I need to focus on making a schedule. I cant seem to fit all I need to do in a day and with me being sick on top of it im not getting to my blog until nighttime, I didn't start tonight till seven thirty, im tired and feel like im in a hurry because I still have things to do, I must remember in my life my blog has to come first, it is the reason im doing so well. I must not forget as an addict, when things start going good we seem to forget about how bad they once were and slowly stop doing the things we need to do to keep our lives in check, we start twisting the truth just a little to make others think were doing better than we really are, it seems like society expects it from everyone, I will give you an example, I got a checking account last week, which by the way was another big step for me, I now have checking and savings accounts, but anyway the point I was trying to make was when I went to the bank today to pick up my checks, they started at number one thousand, is there a reason they don't start at one, is the bank worried someone wont take my check if it says number one, so now every time I write a check im lying to a merchant about how many ive written, I know it's the banks doing, its just an example of how our society seems to work, this is not how im going to live, there will be no little lies to spruce up how people will see me, I choose to live my life in a manner that will gain trust and respect, little lies always grow, not in my life, James
James-last year i had my checking account stolen so i had to start over and my checks were up to like 7000 which in merchants eyes is huge-one even told me that one time-so when i had to start over due to a thief i was angry-but like you say what we gonna do-its the system-but im glad youre feeling better and hopefully we can find a way to follow you thru this journey with the paper there-take care-and the remark about the lies-oh how true-stand tall ok-cynthia
ReplyDeleteWell, now you are being faced with some of the joyous crap so many people have to deal with every day. I won't lie, every day I feel like I do not have enough time to get it all done. First and foremost, I am a mom, a job I take very seriously and never feel like I am doing a good enough job. There there is work and all the projects and responsibilities that comes with that. I am a wife, daughter, pet owner, gardner, bill payer, community member. Daily, I make breakfast, lunches, dinners, do laundry, vacuum, feed the animals, water the plants, pay the bills, grocery shop, scrub the toilet, pick up the kid from school, volunteer in the classroom...it just goes on and on...try to fit it all in to one day?? What a joke!!! a schedule is deffinately a good thing but keep in mind, there might not be a way to actually get it all done in one day. That's where the ugly word "Prioritize" comes into play. I guess that's where being an adult comes into play? Jimmy, we all struggle with this so don't get too hung up on getting everything in to one day.
ReplyDeleteThe other thing is, do you all know that when you start a checking account, you can start on what ever number you want? You could start on check #7253 if you wanted to? YES!!! It used to be that the number mattered, but it doesn't anymore! Breathe easy, life just got a little simpler! You're doing great Jimmy. Just think, you just started worrying about things non-addicts worry about all the time! I think that proves you are truely on your way. I love you so!! Karin
Jim, It sounds to me like you're really doing great! Hope your sickness is gone now, but glad you realized that you had to slow down a little bit and take care of yourself. I was talking to Cindy awhile ago and she saw your article from Chattanooga on fb and also read it. I think maybe she'll start reading some of your blogs... when she gets home from her jobs at a decent time. I hope there is some way you can show this article on FB from the local newspaper, and I hope that a lot of people around there are going to show an interest in it. That article from Chattanooga was awesome! You really are doing great, Jim. God Bless! Nancy
ReplyDeleteA schedule is a good idea, but as Karin said, don't be surprised if, even with a schedule, you can't do it all in one day! Her list boggles my mind! But at least if you have a plan, you can work the plan, whereas if you don't, all these things you have to do will end up controlling you! Welcome to the world of adult responsibilities! Isn't life grand?
ReplyDeleteBlessings,
Jack
Hi,
ReplyDeleteI start my checks over everytime I get to 1000. It is easier to fit three digits in the check register. Four just doesn't seem to fit in the boxes! I make lists everyday and check things off as I complete them...otherwise I forget something that really has to be done right away and feel badly. At least if I check things off I can see how the day is going and as someone else said prioritize. Somedays you may not have to write very much..the key seems to be to make sure you touch base.
God bless.