day73

Day73 its six thirty in the morning here and I feel like I am on track, im going to work on this priority thing and get it right, the goal to quit smoking by the seventeenth is something I feel I can accomplish, I bought the patch the day before yesterday, I put one on yesterday morning and I could not believe the difference, I still smoked yesterday, but only a fourth of what I usually smoke, it seems the less I smoke the more im coughing, it's a terrible cough that leaves me breathless, I cannot wait to be smoke free, and ill get that kiss to boot.

Tonight's post is pretty important to me, the story behind my blog comes out in the Okmulgee paper tomorrow, its very important to me that if a new audience appears they have a full understanding of what this blog is about. So it is my goal today to take some extra time and really think about the journey of my last seventy two days, where I started and where I am now. I will begin with where and who I am now, I am a regular person that has a checking and savings account, a full time job that carries the responsibility of supervising two employees and myself, keeping things moving in the right direction as well as keeping track of hours and different jobs. My job description comes with an extremely large amount of trust from the man who employs me. Now I will try to explain where I stand morally, I believe everyone knows right from wrong, I believe it is something we are born with, but as we live in society our values seem to lower to what ever is excepted. There is no way I am able to feel good about who I am living by these lower expectations, I have never read the bible and don't go to church on a regular basis, I just know right from wrong. Today I base all of my decisions and actions on setting an example for everyone around me to see, I try to make every decision in my life by what is fair and just, and it seems the better I get at living my life this way, the stronger I feel about the changes that will occur in peoples lives all around me. I will continue to try and raise my morals and values in hopes that others around me will do the same.

Well that's where I am after seventy two days of writing this blog, now I will walk you through an average day of my past. I drank and smoked crack until twelve or one in the morning every night, I would get up for work at about seven, feeling awful and being broke, usually having to worry about having enough gas to even make it, I would go to work wishing the day was done but knowing if I wanted to get high that night I had to go, I would watch the clock all day long, just wanting to be off of work so I could go get high, that's all I could think about. I would usually make between eighty to a hundred dollars a day and that would be gone by ten o clock that night, when the money would run out and I would come to terms that smoking crack was over for the night, I would then proceed to drink myself to sleep, just to wake up and do it all over again, this was how I lived for years on end.

So as you can see this blog is not just about quitting drugs, its about redefining who you are, I have touched many areas in my life since this hole thing began, and I can honestly say that as each day goes by my life reaches new heights that I have never known before. This blog is not just for me, it is for everyone like me, who needs to make changes and regain there lives, until tomorrow, James