Day 76 I must say I have never been at this place in my life, I never new it even existed, my sunglasses are off and my head is held high, I have never felt so good about looking people in the eye. Life has definitely slowed down for me and I can smell the roses, they seem to be flourishing all around me. I am living my life right and it doesn't seem to be able to trip me up anymore, no problems, only solutions.
I would like to talk a little more about what I was saying yesterday, I have lived my life felling like I was beneath a lot of people, and im learning I felt this way for all the wrong reasons, I always thought the more money you made the easier life would be, and that having more than one relationship at a time was cool, growing up it seemed like that's what everyone was doing, the guy with the most girls was the coolest, ive never really had anyone talk to me about relationships and friendships until lately, as my mind clears from all the years of abuse and I try to find who I am and what I stand for I see a lot of the same things going on that I saw when I was a child, people chasing after the ideas of what they think will make them happy, instead of doing a little soul searching for the truth, there isn't any nobility in false happiness, and I believe nobility is getting scarce in our society all together, ive always thought none of my relationships worked out because I was on drugs, but as I see the world now and all the failing relationships and hurtful attacks between partners, a lot of them, not on drugs. I have to wonder how it will be in another ten years, I no longer feel below all those people, as a matter of fact I wish they would take some time to think about what happiness really means, and how to find it. I will tell you how I am finding it, by not making selfish decisions, almost every decision I make involves someone else's life, I make my decisions according to my moral values and by how it effects others, keeping promises and being a man of my word, that brings a lot of happiness to my life, living noble, how could you not be happy with yourself when you live every day to better yourself and live to help others do the same. If you feel you put on a false smile at times for others, please take the time to think about it and rid yourself of the problems that lead to it, you will find that a real smile feels so much better, James
I've been following your story and it is so brutally honest. It takes a lot of courage to do what you are doing. Few of us are willing to bare our souls in this fashion. If only we all could expose those skeletons in our closet...
ReplyDeleteJim, I think what you're saying could be summed up in the words of an old song:
ReplyDeleteYou've got to give a little,
Take a little,
Let your poor heart break a little;
That's the story of,
That's the glory of love.
You've got to laugh a little,
Cry a little,
Let the clouds roll by a little;
That's the story of,
That's the glory of love.
And when there's just the two of us,
We have the world and all its charms.
And when the world is through with us,
We have each other's arms.
You've got to win a little,
Lose a little,
Yes, and sometimes sing the blues a little;
That's the story of,
That's the glory of love.
Life is not always a bed of roses, but if we take it for what it is, and recognize the over all purpose in all the joys and sorrows we experience, we'll find that that's what love is all about. And that's just in this life. As for the life to come, "eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither hath entered into the heart of man the things which God hath prepared for those who love Him" (1 Cor. 2:9).
Jim, You are just growing as a person in "leaps and bounds." I love reading your blogs and seeing your progress, your great insights into true happiness in a material world, and how life is slowing down and you are enjoying it more. You are setting a good example and are a great teacher. God Bless!
ReplyDeleteJimmy, the wisdom in your heart shines through brightly! You are right, there are so many in this world that are not truely happy and do only for themselves. But, I guarantee you that the more you look (and I can tell you are looking under every rock) you will see more and more positive, beautiful people out there. It's like, once you are just absolutely done, finished, finito, over it, through with the negative people and vibes in the world, suddenly, the more positve appears. The universe really does conspire to help us succeed but we have to pull our heads out of the sand to see that. So many blessings and much love to you...by george, I think he's got it...the meaning of life! I love you man! Karin
ReplyDelete