Day97 I believe over the last two weeks I have learned a lot about myself, it seems im still a child when it comes to relationships and me being able to share my life with others, I feel I have a lot of growing up to do and a lot to learn before I am able to have that healthy relationship that I picture in my mind, I felt like I was so ready but now I realize over the last twenty eight years of being high and drunk my mind is still like that twelve year old that needs to develop, I have a long way to go before I am able to offer myself to anyone, and a lot to learn. Ive spent almost all my life in relationships and I have no idea how to take care of myself, as I am new to this life of making good decisions, I feel it is important and fair not only to myself, but to anyone that I am making commitments to that I take the time to get to know myself, and really learn more about where my life is headed, and who I am, I feel like ive been clean for ever and I can take on the world but I am realizing I am very new and have a lot of maturing to do, I think the important thing for me to learn here is that I still have a lot to learn and I need to slow down and learn it.
As for my meeting last night, I met the fire marshal and fire chief but that station is to far from where I live, but they pointed me in the right direction and I do not plan on quitting, I will go to the shulter fire station today and see about volunteering their, I am very much looking forward to being more and doing more than I am now, I intend to offer all that I can to this wonderful life, whether it be mine or yours or even someone ive never met, James
tweet me @jameshudnall
Well said, my friend. Realizing when you need to do some growing up and soul searching is the first step to actually doing it. I know it can be scary to not have an intimate relationship right on hand, right next to you when you feel the need for that. But sometimes in life, sitting down and taking a really good look at who you are, where you want to go and what you really want out of life is another step towards maturity and inner strength. I know it sounds all well and good but actually doing it can be harder and feel colder. You are doing what is right in your heart and no one can fault you for being honest. Love you, Karin
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