Day93well it seems I have a lot to learn about being in a relationship, ive never been in a healthy relationship before, in the past I lived in a relationship, if that's what its called, that definitely wasn't based on what I now believe to be love, it seemed to be a lot of hate and anger, vicious words that were only meant for hurt, I don't remember any happy times in the last eighteen years of my life, instead I have spent those years learning how to defend myself from attack and cover up the lies that I told, I believe living in this unhappiness had everything to do with me staying so high and drunk for all those years, but I was so afraid of leaving because believe it or not I thought that person I was with actually cared about me, I now see the difference, and I will never let anyone control my decision making again, my decisions will be based on what I think is right, not how it will effect others, there can be no compromise or I will end up right back where I was, feeling lower than others around me, I am proud of who I am today and not willing to sacrifice my self esteem to appease others, it seems I am still very fragile and can be easily broken if I don't pay close attention to everything that is going on in my life at every moment, I do believe it is when you think everything is perfect, that is when you trip, I intend to pay very close attention to every step I take and not take this wonderful life that I have at this moment for granted, it seems that decisions will only get harder and be more important as my life improves and I know I must not slack on what needs to be done in order for my life to improve, I ill not get side tracked or forget what got me this far, making the hard decisions and sticking to them, I love all my new friends and this life I now live, James
Jim remember that true and lasting love takes a long time to work out. Lust and joy is what happens the first few months then real love can happen.....but it take time, trust and work....real work. Relationship don't just happen,. both parties have to want it and work at it. Take your time and do it right.
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Yes, I believe that true love takes time. Lust and joy are amazing and take time to hold on to those too. I believe that true love comes not from just working on a relationship but choosing which battles to fight and what to let go every day. Communicate on what you really want and what is really important to you in the relationship and in life. Maybe sit down and make a list? When my husband and I got married, this was part of what we promised eachother and we live it every day. It keeps the power struggle in check! If you are happy with yourself and who you are, you are more lovable and in turn, more loved. If you ever end up with someone that doesn't respect that and give you what you need (while you are giving back)...it is time to go! I love you sweetie, Karin
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