Day95 I feel like I learn more and more everyday about life and how to make mine better, it seems back when I was on drugs I had absolutely no control of my emotions or decisions, as a matter of fact I would let my emotions or situations control my decisions therefore that is what controlled my life, not me or what I wanted, there was not very many rational decisions made by me back in those days, and it showed by how low and miserable I was living towards the end of my drug use. I have learned in the past ninety days not to let emotions make your decisions, the less control you have over your life the less happiness you will be able to grasp. Choices have been popping up in front of me all my life and ive spent the majority of it choosing the easiest or the fastest, not really caring about the long term effect, but I believe as my mind clears and I find more and more happiness in my life, fast and easy just doesn't seem to be the right choice anymore, it seems as I gain more control over my emotions I gain more control over my life, with this control I am able to point my life in any direction I choose and accomplish whatever goal I choose to take on in my life. It seems when I was on drugs and alcohol I was like a seven year old when it came time to deal with emotions, absolutely no control over them at all, therefore no control over my life, as I look back and see how powerful the drugs were and how weak and immature they made me, and feel the strength and control my mind now has that they are gone, I am in aw at the stupidity that was my life for so long. Please take the time to leave a comment as I really learn a lot from other peoples perspectives, James
Tweet me @jameshudnall
Day95 I feel like I learn more and more everyday about life and how to make mine better, it seems back when I was on drugs I had absolutely no control of my emotions or decisions, as a matter of fact I would let my emotions or situations control my decisions therefore that is what controlled my life, not me or what I wanted, there was not very many rational decisions made by me back in those days, and it showed by how low and miserable I was living towards the end of my drug use. I have learned in the past ninety days not to let emotions make your decisions, the less control you have over your life the less happiness you will be able to grasp. Choices have been popping up in front of me all my life and ive spent the majority of it choosing the easiest or the fastest, not really caring about the long term effect, but I believe as my mind clears and I find more and more happiness in my life, fast and easy just doesn't seem to be the right choice anymore, it seems as I gain more control over my emotions I gain more control over my life, with this control I am able to point my life in any direction I choose and accomplish whatever goal I choose to take on in my life. It seems when I was on drugs and alcohol I was like a seven year old when it came time to deal with emotions, absolutely no control over them at all, therefore no control over my life, as I look back and see how powerful the drugs were and how weak and immature they made me, and feel the strength and control my mind now has that they are gone, I am in aw at the stupidity that was my life for so long. Please take the time to leave a comment as I really learn a lot from other peoples perspectives, James
Tweet me @jameshudnallv
I know what you mean about the lack of control of your emotions. Back when I was high everyday, when the pills would wear off I got supremely depressed and treated everyone around me like it was their fault. Of course, the worse I treated people with my attitude, the worse they responded in kind and my notion that the world sucked was reinforced. So, I had another reason to get high! It sucked! Fuck drugs.
ReplyDeleteI still read every day, but I don't comment because lately it seems like you've got it all under control.
ReplyDeleteI try to visit and comment........time gets away from me........but in awe of you....Aunt P
ReplyDeleteWhat a vicious cycle! You are doing a great job, keep it up! Emotions are a funny thing. I am sure you can see your emotions more clearly now and beable to make more mature decisions even in an emotional situation. You are a caring person and it may be that you still might want to take the easy way at times, to spare another's feelings. That's part of life. Just be able to look deep in your heart and know what is best for you. The goal right now is to not have to look back and say to yourself, "Gee, I should'a, could'a, would'a......". I have found that really looking at what will make me happy, truely happy, is not always the easiest decision to make, but will be the right one! Love you ...folllow your heart....Karin
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