Day 107 Mondays always seem to stress me out, I try not to let them but they do, I think because I have all weekend to think about what I need to do so Monday morning the list seems very long, there's so many places to start, things to get done, its hard to pick where to start, sometimes with so much going on it feels like nothing is getting done, and that really stresses me out, I have to watch myself so I don't get short with the people that I work with, we have three houses in progress right now and maneuvering the guys around and trying to keep everybody busy and doing the particular jobs each individual is good at can be a chore but I find it to be very enjoyable, I believe I am getting better and better at my job, I am learning a lot and even if it feels like things are going slow I know there not, its just self doubt trying to creep back into my life, four months seems like a life time to me and my old life style could easily be forgotten, and if that happens I could easily slip back into it, I could lose sight of the little mistakes and changes that lead to big mistakes and changes, I must check myself, four months is only the beginning for me, these changes I have made in my life are not set in stone yet and if im not paying attention I could easily slip, so attention I will pay, I haven't been writing everyday and I feel this is a mistake, or at least it could turn into a mistake, I guess I took on a little to much in my life, I will not do that again until I am ready, work and staying clean is more than enough for me to deal with at this point in my life, well that is it for tonight, and since I realize I need to be doing this every night, I will say it again, if you don't hear from me tomorrow, im an idiot, James
Tweet me @jameshudnall
Jim, It's OK if you don't post every night. Of course if you think that writing every day is better for you, then I guess that's what you should do. You're probably exhausted by evening with all the work that you're doing. It amazes me that you can write as often as you do. I think I would run out of things to say if I tried to write every day. It's nice to see that you've taken an interest in boating and that you have a lake nearby. You need to be able to have relaxing, enjoyable activities outside of work. God Bless!
ReplyDeleteJim, I think it is a good idea if you post every night. Every post doesn't need to be a long one...maybe just: I'm still okay, just tired and going to bed. Same the retrospect until you have time. It it interesting to hear all the jobs you are doing...I'm sorry but that feeling of not doing enough or missing something is with most people while you are doing your job. When the job is finished and you can look at your product then the pride and accomplishment feelings take over.
ReplyDeleteGod Bless