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I seem to be at a very scary point in my life, any grasp of hope has drained from my heart, I don't know what is wrong with me, I want to be loved and be able to love others but my heart feels empty, the thought of some type of happiness seems to stay just out of reach and for the first time in my life I feel to tired to chase life, all the opportunities are there for me, I just cant seem to stop stepping on my own toes, its like if I fell myself start to smile I smack myself in the face, I cant get ahead without self destructing, I have never felt so alone in this world, and at the same time felt like crawling farther down in the hole, for the first time in my life I am seeing how alone I actually am and im not sure how to deal with it, if I wasn't clinging on to what little hope I can see but is just out of my reach, any reason for living would be completely erased from my mind, this is not a cry for help, just the honest facts of what I am living with and trying to get through, james
I feel that way sometimes, I have to force myself to smile and keep functioning. I guess alot of us feel alone, but we are not, it will get better.
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