the book of james anew, page six

　

I am just starting to realize how many different denominations of church there is, its very confusing, a person could probably spend his hole life studying all the different types of churches and the beliefs they follow, and who is to say which one will get you to heaven, isn't that the goal, to get to heaven, that's what the majority of churches teach, my heart tells me that is wrong, I don't believe I should live a certain way in this life just to try to get to the next, I believe in god, and I think that he would want me to love, to show love, to care for and about others, to take a chance in this life no matter what the concequences are, chase what your heart tells you, I am a true believer in no good deed goes unpunished, but that will not sway me, I will take the punishment to feel right in my heart. I have something else to set in stone, I am ashamed and descrased by the general population of churches, but that will not sway my belief in god and jesus and what he stood for, I feel I am on the right path, I will not allow people to confuse me with what is acceptable in todays society, I will believe in what is in my heart and mind, I will find who I am and what gods plans for me are in this life, james

the book of james anew, page five

The book of james anew, page five

It seems lately I am having a very hard time writing what is on my mind, over the past couple of years I feel I have grown immensely, my hole life has been about right now, I have never really tried to pursue any dreams or put goals into motion, as far as that goes, I have never really set any goals for myself, things always just seem to fall in place enough for me to get by, but that is not enough for me any more.

I was talking to a friend the other night about a goal that I would like to achieve, she seems to be a very smart woman who has overcome many things in her life and she lives for god, she had me in tears in no time, filling me full of inspiration and hope, taking away my self doubt, she talked about a business plan, sitting down and writing out how to put my goal in motion, I felt alive, ready to concur the world, but it didn't take long once the phone call ended for me to feel lost once again, and that's when I realized, I have no idea who I am or what I believe in, I need a life plan , I need to find what it is I believe in, and put it in stone, Im realizing that I have adapted to so many other peoples believes that I have no idea what mine truly are, I do know one thing without a boubt, I know I believe in god, james

Thank you very much sheri, without caring people like you I would be real close to falling flat on my face

the book of james anew, page four

The book of james anew page four

I am beginning to realize that without some type of direction in my life I will continue living in this confused state of mind, I feel like im stuck on the ground floor of life, I see all kinds of doors to open, I just cant seem to pick one, I know I believe in the idea of Christianity, it seems to go with what is in my heart, but I cant wrap my mind around church, and as I talk to more and more people and get there opinions about church it continues to add to my confusion, I believe in the idea of church but i feel that the majority of churches are basically companies, with employees, so how does a person, like myself, who feels god in his heart, I know that he is with me, I cannot explain it, I just do, I feel like I have no where to go for answers, id like to think I could go to church for some guidance but for some reason I feel that the majority of churches have blinders on to any other agenda that is not there own, to me that doesn't seem very godly so my trust in what direction they would like to point me in is not there. Its not that I want to distrust the church system, I just do, I would love to hear good opinions about church from regular people, I really feel like todays society has lost its way.

james