When james thought about his past and how he had set himself up time and time again to be used by someone, or taken advantage of, to put his trust in someone only for them to turn and laugh in his face, he knew he had finally broken that pattern, he knew those days were over and there was nothing or no one that would ever hurt him again, the only emotions left were anger, lust and hate. He thought about going to hooterville for some drugs but for the first time in his life he felt a sence of control, sey he was going to go get some drugs but not to shield his pain but more to satify the lust on his mind, it was the first time he felt in control of his drug use, he no longer needed to escape the pain he had lived in for so long, it was just gone, he finally felt in control of his mind, and he seemed to thrive off of the anger he felt, this was so new to james, uncarred, a since of freedom from what he had thought to be right his hole life, he felt as though he had been freed from his shackles and it was time for all of those who had done him wrong to pay, and in his mind he could visualize each and every person paying what he believed to be there debt to him, he could only picture in his mind complete malice, he thought back on the last day and a half and smiled, there was no remorse or hurt for what he had done, only a since of gratification. This new sence of power felt great, and he wanted more. Lust and kaos were the only things on his mind, taking back all thet he had givin is all he could think about, fuck kindness and consideration, I want back what I have given to this fucked up world, and im gonna take it, he thinks to himself about all the hookers he had been with through out his life, and why he was with them, he seemed to have this need to be close to someone, anyone, some type of intimacy, it was never about the sex, it was about feeling close to someone, a bond, or some type of connection, but time and time again, those wants were never satisfied, and the end result always ending up in disappointment. Those feelings of loneliness and insecurity have completely left his mind and have been replaced with vicsious and malice thoughts of seduction for his own angry pleasures, in his mind he thought about all the drug whores he had been with and how they had always manipulated him out of his drugs, never giving him what he needed, it was his time now, and in his mind he could see himself at a hotel with a whore feeding her drugs, but this time would be different, he wasn't chasing emotion, he was chasing domination, and he would take and make her do what ever he wanted.
