thanksgiving

Today is a wonderful day,  its thanksgiving and I am so happy to be able to spend time with my daughter Hilary and my granddaughter daah,  don't get me wrong, I wish I could be with all o my children, my son Michael and his wonderful  girlfriend ambrea and their child, my newest grandchild, lilliana, and I would love to see my son Dylan, who is in san diego working, or my son Harley, and his daughter, alissa, and I would also like to be spending time with my son Russell,  or even my mother and two sisters in verginia, but I eel in my heart im right where im supposed to be, I feel love in the air and the comort of family, I truly feel this is one o the best thanksgivings I can remember, best wishes to everyone out there, happy thanksgiving and please, don't orget how to love, james

wow

 

It seems the more I want to do good, the harder I fall, as doors open, I slam them shut, im so confused, I know I am capible of unemaginable hieghts, but it seems I punch myself in the face everytime im about to sucseed, I am unable to control my own life and end up in situations where I am dependend on others and end up doing for them instead of me, I feel I am getting weaker the closer I get to sucsess, is it a crazy notion to think that maybe I am being attact by demons, wow that sounds crazy, but im not sure if it is, I believe im a pretty intellegent guy but you wouldnt think it by the mistakes I continue to make, I have some huge dreams that I would like to see become reality, and I do believe that one day I will see them come true, but I need jesus to send as much help as possible because theres no way I can do it on my own, im asking you jesus, I

know who you are and what you stand for, snatch me up by the back of my neck and carry me in the right direction, help me strive for the goals that I aim to meet, after all, they are in your name, james

start living

 

Today is more than just another day for me, it seems like I have gotten really good at just getting by, I am beginning to see this pattern in my life that has to change, Ive pulled myself out of a hole so many times it seems easy so theirs not much fear of going back down, the pattern that I am beginning to see is that once im out and on level ground I get comfortable and the motivation to start climbing even higher seems to fade away, I seem to think im doing just fine and do just enough to get by with all these goals in my mind and I continiously tell myself I will start them tomorrow, we all know tomorrow never comes, so I live on this level ground for a while until I start losing hope and giving up on my dreams only to fall flat on my face and then I have to start this hole routine over again, im tired of just getting by and I know I dont want to fall flat on my face, so today I am making a concious decision to go forward instead of backwards,