page 21

Page 21 james left his fathers house and went straight to hooterville, it was about one in the afternoon and there was plenty of people out selling drugs on every corner, it didn't even take five minutes and james was rolling out of the nieghborhood with another hundred dollars worth of crack in his hand, he heads for main street to find his next victim, he knows exactly what he is looking for, a woman that is beat down by life, a woman that is so hurt and scorn by others and her own doings that her life long goals she had as a child has turned to desperation, chasing a high to escape her feelings of pain and humiliation that she now brings on herself everyday by the life she lives, james thinks about his past and his life on drugs, how they ran his life, day after day he would get high trying to escape from his hurt, only to hurt twice as bad in the morning after realizing what he had done the night before to stay high, what a viscious cycle, it breaks you of all your hopes and dreams, and as its killing you, it deceives you so much all you can think about is more, your mind tells you it's the cure, james had been with many prostitutes, seeing them for who they really are, some ones daughter or sister, some poor girl that got off on the wrong track, alone and scared, eaten up and had been taken advantage by the truly wicked of this world, james had been around the block quite a bit and throughout his life he had seen much more than most, upper class, middle class, poor, and homeless, james had lived it all, to see the world through his eyes would amaze you, he was never quick to point a finger or judge, he was quick to make excuses for others bad behavior, james had seen so many different lifestyles and witnessed so many different levels of life that he was able to see right through the front that most people put on and read them for who they really were or what they were really about, james had a very positive outlook on even the worst of people, ignorance, it sounds like a mean word, but james didn't see it that way, to him it just meant you didn't know, you were uneducated, james didn't see selfishness or greed or hatred, he saw ignorance, people that just didn't know any better, he didn't see homeless or drug addiction, he saw pain and hurt, loneliness, he saw people who felt unloved and unwanted, chasing some type of an escape and doing ungodly things to catch it, deceived by a false hope of making it all go away, ignorant to the grave they are digging for themselves