Day112, I haven't written in several days, im having a very hard time finding any signs of life outside of work, if it wasn't for my job I believe I would have absolutely no life at all, im feeling very alone and its hard to find things to be happy about, it seems the struggle is back in my life once again, lately ive come to terms with the fact that I just cant seem to get a social life so ive been working myself into the ground, making myself to mentally and physically tired to think about feeling so alone, I have to wonder if there will be happiness for me or if im always going to struggle with trying to be happy, I am alive and doing ok, and im not willing to go backwards anytime soon, I know that will lead me to unhappiness and being broke, so for now I will continue to fight the unhappiness and hope it pays in the long run, I am sorry if ive left any of you worrying, im just not sure how I feel or what to write, I thank you all, Jim
This may sound stupid but you need a hobby. Anything that interests you, something to study, something to make, something to do other than work. Most of the friends I have I have met through quilt guilds, book clubs, master gardening classes, banjo lessons, there are many places to meet people but to be a magnet for friends look for common interest, passions and make yourself interestng and happy. People are drawn to interesting and happy people. Sounds crazy but it works and you will learn to love yourself and be confident and happy. love and hugs! You are doing great, not all life is happy and fun but a lot of it is perspective.
ReplyDeleteI agree w Sandy, you need a hobby. It can be any number of things. Built birdhouses and then take a tole painting class at Hobby Lobby and paint the bird houses. You have Christmas presents that everyone will love. You used to draw. Go to Hobby Lobby or a hobby store of any kind and buy drawing paper and pastels...do a picture of a OK sunset. Call the local HS and find out what ROP classes are available. I took an great chinese cooking class one year and a gardening class one year. You are in hick ville, do what they do, go to car races, learn to line dance. usually classes in afternoon at local bars.....don't drink, have tonic water w lime. Get the local paper like the Reader in San Diego and it will give you a hundred cheap thing to do. Take a canoe class, my god Jimmy, the world is full of fun stuff. Help out at homeless shelter, or call habitat for humanity and help build houses for people on the weekends, you will meet other people like contractors and builders who help this charity on weekends. Mike and I have done this and Mike used to go to Mexico and build homes for poor people. Do something for somebody else and you will find that you actually did it for yourself. The local library will have a book club, Jimmy there are lots of stuff to do.DO IT, Force yourself......Make yourself do something.........Please. do it for the people who love you but most of all, do it for yourself. Go to a church, join a bible group...learn something.............Aunt P.
ReplyDeletePlease don't get addicted to religion or addiction itself as a placeholder. The pain you are feeling is the pain of being truly alive. Don't hide.
ReplyDeleteMuch love
Grant
What about taking a class in the evening at the nearby college? Although, seriously, there is nothing wrong with being single and "alone" for a while until you get perspective on a drug-free life...Work on your relationships with people who will always be in your life before you worry about finding someone for a romance.
ReplyDeleteHi Jim, I'm so relieved to see that you're back. Was worried about you. There is a lot of good advice being given to you (your Aunt P., Sandra, Anonymous, and on FB I think her name is Deborah.) Try and think about all the good advice you've gotten and figure out what things would interest you. Glad to hear you're joining the YMCA too, as working out should help. Loved what Hilary had to say to you too. You know that she loves you & is always there for you. I know I've mentioned it before, but you really should consider flying home to Chattanooga to spend the Christmas Holidays with your family. That is such an important time to be with family. Cindy's flying home on Dec. 15th & I can hardly wait! Your friend Deborah is right about church too, as there are all sorts of groups where you can make some good friends, if you find the right church that you feel comfortable in. Like she said, dress casually and sit in the back until you find the right church. So many churches do have recovery groups, single groups, and all sorts of things going on. Nowadays I've found that people dress all sorts of ways at church too, so you don't have to get all dressed up like people used to do. Most church singles groups have a lot of activities going on.....especially in the Summer but I imagine the rest of the year too. They usually have camping trips, hiking, picnics, etc. It's time to become active in some worthwhile activities where you'll meet some new people. Take care, Jim
ReplyDeleteJimmy, all of these comments are absolutely right. I know having a hobby sounds corny but it really is the way to meet other people. People you can truely be friends with and then go from there. Habitat fo Humanity is a great one becasue you can use your skills as a carpenter to help others which feels awesome! The holidays are a hard time for everyone because they never seem to be what they look like they should be in the mvies and all. Think about getting back to your family or coming to So Cal for the holidays for a change of pace. We are all here for you at any moment of the day or night but you have to make the first move. I love you and will help in any way I can. You know what? I would REALLY like a bird house or a painting from you for Christmas! Do you think you could do that for me??? It would be something I treasure forever!! Karin
ReplyDeleteJim, I hope you know how much I think of you, I will be here for you as much as you let me be, don't close out your friends in times like these. I feel like you are kinda pushing people away and hiding in your work. And I use to see you daily, so I have noticed the change. You are even working 7 days a week, you need a day off, take it! I'm here if you need to talk
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