page 119

Page 119, I am definitely starting to find some type of contentment in my life, in all this chaos of trying to find some type of success to prove myself to the world, I am starting to realize its not the world I need to make happy, it seems over the last two months life has been a struggle, but more joyful than I can remember , I am starting to see the smiles on peoples faces once again, but at the same time learning how to be cautious of deceit, it seems to be everywhere, a way of life for a lot of people, maybe they don't know or understand how it effects the world around them, or maybe they just don't care, the American way, take what you can get and fuck the little guy, that is what I see around me every day, it is quite disgusting, and in my mind I want to grow cold and be the same to survive as others do but in my heart I know this is wrong, so I will not, I will continue to focus on what is right and see past how others choose to live, they will not be my example, and I will not get frustrated with life and fall short of what is right, I know that I will slip and skin a knee from time to time, but I will continue to set higher morals and values for myself and not be fooled by this sad way of life we call the American way. I have spent the last two months with my oldest son and his girlfriend, and the meaning of family is starting to mean something to me, I am still very confused about most everything but I am definitely learning about whats not so important to me anymore, and what is, and only in the past year have I felt the love of what family is supposed to be to one another, I have seeked it out my hole life and it has never been there, as a child I was not taught or protected from the cruelties of this world, as a young child I had to go on the defence, going from home to home knowing I was nothing but a check to most of the people that took care of me, not wanted by my family, my own parents, aunts and uncles watched as I was shuffled through the courts, foster care and juvenile hall, starting at eleven or twelve, I have learned to be cosious but at the same time chased love, doing anything to gain exceptance of others, I am finally learning the importance of family values through my children, and it is a godsend, my daughter hilary and my son micheal have taught me a lot and that is allowing me to let my guard down and except love and give it in a trusting manner, it is a wonderful feeling, but very new, I hold a lot of anger towards my family and siblings, they have never cared for me or been a part of my life, always waiting for me to be okay before they would have anything to do with me, never there when I needed them, this is not the type of family that I want to be a part of, or learn from, my children are teaching me that I am not an inconvenience, and they are teaching me love by example, what more could a father ask for in life, james

Ps love u k

Page 119, I am definitely starting to find some type of contentment in my life, in all this chaos of trying to find some type of success to prove myself to the world, I am starting to realize its not the world I need to make happy, it seems over the last two months life has been a struggle, but more joyful than I can remember , I am starting to see the smiles on peoples faces once again, but at the same time learning how to be cautious of deceit, it seems to be everywhere, a way of life for a lot of people, maybe they don't know or understand how it effects the world around them, or maybe they just don't care, the American way, take what you can get and fuck the little guy, that is what I see around me every day, it is quite disgusting, and in my mind I want to grow cold and be the same to survive as others do but in my heart I know this is wrong, so I will not, I will continue to focus on what is right and see past how others choose to live, they will not be my example, and I will not get frustrated with life and fall short of what is right, I know that I will slip and skin a knee from time to time, but I will continue to set higher morals and values for myself and not be fooled by this sad way of life we call the American way. I have spent the last two months with my oldest son and his girlfriend, and the meaning of family is starting to mean something to me, I am still very confused about most everything but I am definitely learning about whats not so important to me anymore, and what is, and only in the past year have I felt the love of what family is supposed to be to one another, I have seeked it out my hole life and it has never been there, as a child I was not taught or protected from the cruelties of this world, as a young child I had to go on the defence, going from home to home knowing I was nothing but a check to most of the people that took care of me, not wanted by my family, my own parents, aunts and uncles watched as I was shuffled through the courts, foster care and juvenile hall, starting at eleven or twelve, I have learned to be cosious but at the same time chased love, doing anything to gain exceptance of others, I am finally learning the importance of family values through my children, and it is a godsend, my daughter hilary and my son micheal have taught me a lot and that is allowing me to let my guard down and except love and give it in a trusting manner, it is a wonderful feeling, but very new, I hold a lot of anger towards my family and siblings, they have never cared for me or been a part of my life, always waiting for me to be okay before they would have anything to do with me, never there when I needed them, this is not the type of family that I want to be a part of, or learn from, my children are teaching me that I am not an inconvenience, and they are teaching me love by example, what more could a father ask for in life, james

Ps love u k

Page 119, I am definitely starting to find some type of contentment in my life, in all this chaos of trying to find some type of success to prove myself to the world, I am starting to realize its not the world I need to make happy, it seems over the last two months life has been a struggle, but more joyful than I can remember , I am starting to see the smiles on peoples faces once again, but at the same time learning how to be cautious of deceit, it seems to be everywhere, a way of life for a lot of people, maybe they don't know or understand how it effects the world around them, or maybe they just don't care, the American way, take what you can get and fuck the little guy, that is what I see around me every day, it is quite disgusting, and in my mind I want to grow cold and be the same to survive as others do but in my heart I know this is wrong, so I will not, I will continue to focus on what is right and see past how others choose to live, they will not be my example, and I will not get frustrated with life and fall short of what is right, I know that I will slip and skin a knee from time to time, but I will continue to set higher morals and values for myself and not be fooled by this sad way of life we call the American way. I have spent the last two months with my oldest son and his girlfriend, and the meaning of family is starting to mean something to me, I am still very confused about most everything but I am definitely learning about whats not so important to me anymore, and what is, and only in the past year have I felt the love of what family is supposed to be to one another, I have seeked it out my hole life and it has never been there, as a child I was not taught or protected from the cruelties of this world, as a young child I had to go on the defence, going from home to home knowing I was nothing but a check to most of the people that took care of me, not wanted by my family, my own parents, aunts and uncles watched as I was shuffled through the courts, foster care and juvenile hall, starting at eleven or twelve, I have learned to be cosious but at the same time chased love, doing anything to gain exceptance of others, I am finally learning the importance of family values through my children, and it is a godsend, my daughter hilary and my son micheal have taught me a lot and that is allowing me to let my guard down and except love and give it in a trusting manner, it is a wonderful feeling, but very new, I hold a lot of anger towards my family and siblings, they have never cared for me or been a part of my life, always waiting for me to be okay before they would have anything to do with me, never there when I needed them, this is not the type of family that I want to be a part of, or learn from, my children are teaching me that I am not an inconvenience, and they are teaching me love by example, what more could a father ask for in life, james

Ps love u k