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Page 122, today's date is march twentieth, Sunday. Wow what a beautiful day, I feel so good about my path in life, every day I watch and learn from everything and everyone I see, good and bad, I try to learn from it all, how to live and how not to live. I believe there is something to be learned from each and every person that crosses my path, and that goes vice versa, I would like to think I have something to offer to each and everyone who crosses my path. Life seems to be so delicate, it can change dramatically from one moment to the next. There is so much you can gain, but at the same time, the more you gain , the more you have to lose, I have chased some type of a sense of security all my life and as my life changes it is time to redefine what that means, I guess its different for everyone, for me its always been about having things, impressing others, trying to show everyone I was as good as them or I was able to achieve as much as them, for some reason I've always thought I had something to prove, maybe its because growing up I wasn't worth enough for my family to care about me, I was easily cast aside while they went on with there lives, left to figure out this life for myself, I am forty two years old, and I can honestly say that in my forty two years, this past year is the first time I have ever felt cared for or knew what caring about someone meant, I now have four very healthy relationships in my life, my granddaughter daah, my daughter Hilary, my son Michael, and his girlfriend ambrea, who for some reason the minute I met her I knew she would be part of my family and life forever. As for Dylan Harley and Russell, I have not really had the opportunity to spend any time with them and our relationships are very strained, I hope and pray that

in time this will change, ive always wanted to care for my children but I don't think I ever really knew how, ive done the best I could but as I start to learn more about this new life I am living I will do what I can to build a strong and healthy relationship with them, Dylan, Harley and Russ, if your reading, please know that I love you. As for daah, Hilary, Michael and ambrea, I am confident that you already know how much I love you and how much all of you mean to me.

James…………………….